Yona in the Blush of Dawn

This mountain air, perturbed severely by cruel wind, chilled the roots of my jet-black hair, which extended barely onto my neck. Damn, it was cold. After a few months, this patrol route had become familiar, down to every boulder with a cryptic shape. Could you even call them rocks at that point?

In more playful moments, my wyvern (great beast with the head and arms of a dragon, but the body of a reptile) would hide behind them. But it was all too easy to find her, with glorious crimson wings that extended across the horizon. To foes, wyverns are fearsome – but Yona, the name of my beast, was an amusing creature outside of battle. The rules of training simply were not in play outside of battle. In a way, Yona was being considerate of my condition – letting me win because I can only march a short distance. Then I must rest for half a mark or longer. And this terrain was especially arduous. Hills within hills plagued every step.

It was especially clear that the generals never even considered my difficulty with mobility. Why else would they put me on a mountain? They only think of my military prowess – but never to think of how they can best support their soldiers. Those bastards.

But Yona and I had a special agreement  -- for all lengths, except those walkable by me, she let me ride on her back. Even when her feet were still on the ground. When she moved by stomping. A special harness allowed enough range of motion for me to lean in – but it restrained my weak legs, preventing me from falling off. Often Yona glanced back at me – to make sure that I was still on.

In our occasional bouts of aerial training, we set down a pattern to prevent me from falling. This was also part of the tacit agreement. No sudden movements without flapping one wing as a caution. Limited turning, and a preference for straight flying. Part of our strategy was sudden changes in elevation. This helped me avoid the leg cramps that came from excessive swerving. (Getting slammed from side to side certainly was not best for my condition.) But that did not mean wyvern riding was easy for me, regardless of how proficiently I could do it.

Surprisingly, my best friend from camp – a healer who had spent the last two years of her life trying to help me on the side – had found a potion that kept the painful contractions at bay.It was no cure-all. I still had to stretch. After every battle, I had to extend my legs, place my hands on one, and fold my neck and spine downwards – and repeat for the other side. Then, sitting upwards, I would tap my foot in a steady in rhythm to train the muscles of the forward leg. Still I let out a sigh. Being sent to a mountain patrol alone just seemed too cruel, no matter how I looked at it.

Back at camp I had that momentary sense of community. This was tough.

But Shizuru’s words linger in my mind: “Didn’t spend 11 months for you to just feel sorry for yourself! War is…well…a great evil still. But we do the best we can with the resources available to us. I’ll see you when you’re  back.”

When you’re stuck on a mountain…..your thoughts drift a little bit. The low air pressure called for limited energy consumption – but the worst part was the cold.

Shizuru, a young woman of twenty, had vividly blonde hair that fell to her mid back and gentle red eyes, but a head shorter than me. Still, with her upright posture, there was a noble air about her. She was physically frail herself – part of why healing had appealed to her in the first place. But these talents of hers were unparalleled, even when stacked against the ancient men who practiced it. This…unfortunately led to accusations of witchcraft that drew the whole camp against her. Though they went to her for help, they viewed her as fundamentally non-human. As someone also suspected of witchcraft, I became friends with her. We ate that lousy rice gruel together, even if the commanding officers clearly stiffed the soldiers of meat and spices.

Even in this era, physical ailments are seen as demonic. In Shizuru’s case, a scar ran down her cheek, cementing this opinion in their eyes – yet this scar was a symbol of why she had ended up as a healer in the first place. In a way, Shizuru was a refugee, having lost her village to enemy forces. Perhaps that was a simple fact of war. But we saw the vileness of our own forces, as they ostracized us and made unkind remarks just beyond our hearing. How would they even know our conditions, one might ask. It was clear in how both of us stood for short periods of time, often sitting, even as the others stood tall, chatting. In how neither of us could handle the menial labor the others could. They even saw us as getting special treatment.

Some special treatment being stuck on a frigid stone castle. In a way, Yona and Shizuru gave me the courage and motivation to fight – to find that better life for all of us. As I say it, though, Shizuru would be the one to heal this forsaken land of Padania, where we lived and suffered. But if we have that sort of hope, this land could hardly be called forsaken. As a pawn, I could not help but admire the rook that Shizuru was – and despise the king, queen, and knight at the top. The unrelenting chess metaphors in my head had caused my gaze to fix upon misshapen gravel at my feet. Slightly annoyed, Yona nudged me with her nozzle.

Yona’s expression let me know what time it was. The reddish glow of the dawn was before me – and damn I had woken up early. But I knew what action to take – we took off from the mountain, circling around it. The hope we felt, even hidden by cynicism, lifted us up.

Resolutions for 2018 (Tentative)

As 2018 approaches, the time to make New Year's resolutions and obey exactly half of them is upon me. These resolutions are a work in progress and can and will be updated as the year progresses. (Assuming I don't forget.)

1. PhD:
a) Focus on core classes over elective classes and fulfill all class requirements for PhD
b) Fill out Program of Study and begin labwork for Research Project
c) Continue to apply for fellowships and act as a teaching assistant
d) Maintain a GPA of at least 3.9/4.0

2. Manga consumption:
a) Have completed at least 200 completed manga including:
-- 10 mangas that are 10 volumes or longer
-- Magi and Tsubasa Chronicle must be among the ten

3. Anime
a) Have completed at least 650 anime, with the following stipulations:
-- No more than 25 (Watching), 15 (On Hold), 3 (Dropped), 175 (Plan to Watch) shows
-- Complete at least 6 '90s anime shows; three of these must be Yu Yu Hakusho, Cardcaptor Sakura and Legend of the Galactic Heroes
-- Watch at least 5 anime films from' '60s and '70s
-- Not watch more than 20 currently airing anime at a time (including leftovers)

4. Games
-- Read at least eight VNs, including Danganronpa V3 and Higurashi, Subahibi, Doki Doki Literature Club, and Dies Irae
-- Complete at least 5 games, including Bastion and Child of Light

5. Infinite Jest

6. Cooking
a) Cook at least one meal every other day that requires significant preparation
b) Learn 3 non-Desi dishes
c) Eat at Chipotle no more than once a week; eat out no more than four times a week

7. Yoga
A) Attend class at least twice a week on Fitpass
B) Perform yoga daily, including Colleen's PT instructions
-- Work on balance, core strength, upper body, and lower body in various combinations
-- Stretch calf muscles 2x a day

8. Blogwriting
A) Write an analytical or creative piece at least once a month for personal blog
B) Write two pieces for AnimeFeminism (resources permitting)

9. Nanowrimo
A) Participate in this year's Nanowrimo and write at least 5000 words
B) Finish one old Nanowrimo story, likely the 2015 one or the 2016 one

10. Languages
A) Japanese
-- Memorize and practice hiragana, katakana through daily practice
-- Memorize and practice kanji through weekly practice
-- Learn how to construct simple sentences in written Japanese
B) Urdu

Fresh off the Plane

An airplane ride is likely not the place to explore new TV shows, let alone one I have long awaited. A work of art likely to be “Zrucore.” There was only one episode available. But…I was ready. (This story is from when I flew back to the US a couple weeks ago.)

It was finally time to see the famous Fresh off the Boat, featuring a Chinese family who is….far from fresh off the boat (F.O.B.). They are another American family, as I see it. Sporting a Beastie Boys t-shirt, Eddy – a middle schooler – loudly proclaims his love of hip hop, placing him in line with most middle school boys. And within this American family, there is a tension I find rather familiar – to be the perfect son in alignment with the “previous culture”. In his case, to be a Chinese son; in my case, to be a Pakistani son. The struggle to be “other” and American simultaneously. It can feel like a gigantic contradiction.

Beneath the surface, this show ponders: what the heck does it mean to be American?

As a society, we pride ourselves on being a melting pot – that’s supposedly the foundation of the United States. However, (too) many white Americans think that the melting pot is just a lie, having “seen” what immigrants bring. But to a son of immigrant parents like me, the melting pot does exist, just with imperfections and without ever quite becoming a proper fondue. One could argue, the melting pot was not stirred properly. (This metaphor falls apart here because cultural divisions in America are likely due to systemic problems, not cooker’s apathy.)

The Beastie Boys, I will remind you, are (were) white Jewish rappers, playing in a black-influenced style. In a way, a Chinese-American listening to the Beastie Boys is certainly America – American culture is a complex combination of many sources, rendering it different from Europe. Over the past month (or so), I spent time in England, Scotland, Ireland, Northern Ireland, and France – and I saw for myself how different European culture is from American culture, even with the similar origins. We even speak some weird thing we call English but is in reality “American”. But even living in such an odd society, there is a great effort to cast non-white people as “other”. With an immigrant perspective – whether it is mine or Eddy’s – one sees such a situation as painfully ironic, where the country is comprised of so many different things, but where that difference is also wielded to the detriment of all.

This difference between “Americans” and non-“Americans” forces one to bounce between cultures. Eddy’s love of hip hop, for example, is seen as extending outside of his appointed zone as a person of Chinese descent; his peers rebuke him for his interests. As a fellow Beastie Boys fan, I understand how “white” is assumed to be the norm for fans of most popular groups, let alone just the Beastie Boys. This cultural battle is best portrayed through the character of Phillip who is Chinese by birth. The principal asks Eddy to show him around because of that assumed cultural link – by corollary, assumed comfort. However, though Phillip shows some of the favored characteristics of the “perfect Chinese Son”, he turns out to be a self-involved prick. This only contributes to Eddy’s sense of isolation.

As a “brown” person (realizing that “brown” has a few different meanings here, but for me, it means being of Pakistani descent), I can recognize the same things. My features seem “closer” to Europeans because of my fair skin, but even something as simple as my name reveals my status as other. Eddy’s struggles with befriending Phillip are also quite familiar; I have struggled to befriend other Pakistanis, as that supposed cultural connection is not necessarily enough. I find myself wrapped up in Pakistani culture, even while negotiating American culture – this, all in spite of my growing up and being raised here. For Eddy, the Beastie Boys help him negotiate the analogous double-think required to marry the two cultures.

Spanning one’s immigrant culture and the mainstream (American here) culture is quite demanding of one’s energy and time. It requires realizing that maybe this double-think frequently gets in the way of more meaningful interactions. But even in such a frustrating situation, it’s better to stay true to the values that you grew up with and ones that you select for yourself. Even if those values are some combination of the immigrant upbringing and the living in the US.

One Week Friends (2017) and the Power of Memory

Live action films. The devil, as far as most anime fans are concerned. (Some of us…unfortunately…seem to tolerate them. Even going as far as to see Ghost in the Shell (2017).) The idea that someone will desecrate the works you love, or at least profane the purity of anime as a whole. Many recall that Avatar: The Last Airbender atrocity and know that it could happen to them or the animes with their loved ones. These films tend to be panned because they only marginally feature the same plot points, yet somehow manage to be lazy.

Not One Week Friends (2017) – it has standards unlike a GitS (2017)!! (That’s not to say I was not apprehensive in the slightest. Not to mention, I haven't seen GitS anyways.) Towards the end, there was a memorable scene that encapsulated the work. A montage, interspersed with a series of drawings on a book being flipped through, masterfully reminded the audience of what had happened, while setting the stage for what would happen in the film’s conclusion. As the makeshift flipbook progresses, we see an evolution of the main two characters Yuki Hase and Kaori Fujimiya. Through this scene, the viewer saw the physical representation of the power of memory, especially when regained; such an action sets up Yuki well when he chases down Kaori, the friend seemingly lost to the power of time, through another dramatic montage. Shots of her face, and from behind. With quick pacing. But then the film pauses suddenly, letting the scene catch up to its momentum; the previously manic cutting slows down, and Kaori calls out to Yuki, having remembered what had happened. Here, she affirms that power of memory.

Because of Kaori’s medical condition, she can only remember one week at a time. (To keep this relatively spoiler free, I will just say that her ‘anterograde amnesia’ stems from an accident she suffered.) As a result, Yuki keeps asking her to become his friend. In this ending scene, Kaori remembers Yuki’s actions, and this time she asks him to be her friend in a simple but powerful gesture. (Of course, he consents.) Arguably, the film’s themes rest on this single moment, and it pulls it off convincingly.

One Week Friends is neither a perfect nor completely faithful adaptation – but what matters is that it made an effort to carve out its own unique space. This space had some major flaws. Covering the several volumes of the manga in one film – where the anime only covered around half the length – may not have been the best decision. Much of the film maintains a sense of rushing, which creates a more manic feel. However, there were times that could likely have been cut, such as a subplot involving Yuki being in a manga club.  Saki, a cheerful girl introduced a few episodes into the anime, is now a childhood friend of Yuki, where she used to be a new friend of Kaori’s. (Shogo, Yuki’s rather lazy and sleepy friend, is still more or less the same, thankfully.) Another flaw that one could have anticipated anyways is how the film tries to use similar dialogue to the anime but falls flat because of the medium difference.

In spite of this rushing and covering too much information, there is a clear sense of heart to this work that echoes the original manga and the anime adaptation. The main theme of this work, mainly the power of memory, is powerfully upheld (albeit clumsily).

It is no easy task to follow the excellent acting, animation, and directing found in Brain Base’s 2014 adaptation of One Week Friends. This live action version suffered from uneven scriptwriting and acting that cannot be explained simply from the original work itself. Despite these rough patches, the film had unexpected delights in its craft, especially the excellent use of set design and cinematography to make every scene feel unique. Unusual camera angles ran amok, but they were put to great use.

Most live actions, at least based on this conjecture I’m tossing out there, just tell without showing. But this work supplements long stories with visual representations of what happened, without hitting you on the head with exposition. For instance, when describing Kaori’s medical condition, we see an image of her being placed in a MRI machine, allowing us to connect more deeply. It applies a similar approach to a traumatic experience for Kaori – using extensive blurring on a set dominated by bright blue street lights, we get an intense visual for what she feels. This is complemented by her falling onto her hands and knees and clutching her head.

There was a clear best part of the film, even beyond the excellent visual presentation. One character had marvelous stage presence, beyond that which I would expect from most films, let alone a live action adaptation of a manga. This character was Saki, who in some ways felt straight from the anime. Those familiar with Fate/Apocrypha’s very adorable Servant Astolfo would be pleased to know that the anime iteration of Saki is played by the same voice actress (Rumi Ookubo). But the live action iteration is played by Haori Takahashi (who is apparently not well known enough to have a Wikipedia page), who marvelously recreated Saki in 3D space. Haori’s performance was able to effectively express a variety of emotions from sorrow (when she defends Kaori from criticism) to the chipper tone (most of the film) one would expect from the character.

Introducing Saki as a childhood friend made me raise my eyebrows. But this decision proved to be brilliant as it led to her being introduced early on – it sets her up as an important character. Early in the film, she criticizes Yuki’s bedhead and sprays his hair, establishing her image firmly. In another scene, she helps Yuki pick out a notebook, emphasizing that it should have a tora (tiger) design. Pointing to a specific scene or technique used by Saki’s actress would be hard for me – because all of it was a consistent delight.

By now, you are probably thinking “Yes, so a live action could be good. But I’m an anime purist! Harumph.” The talented, albeit seemingly uneven, director at the helm of this project certainly played a role in making it shine. The script itself stumbled – even in factoring the manga’s own bizarre decisions in the latter half – but made an earnest, charming effort to make a standalone film. But…as much as I say it is good, my heart will not move on….To me, love is the 2014 anime adaptation, so watch that instead.

Script: 6.5/10
Acting: 6/10
Cinematography/Pacing/Design: 9/10
Music: 7/10
“Heart”: 7.5/10

Total: 68/100