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1. A Scattering of Light
~“Whenever I tell you that the worst is yet to come,
you chide me over and over.
As we keep losing things important to us,
you hold your head high and peer beyond the clouds,
making me believe there’s a way through, into paradise.”~
-- from “Rakuen Made”
~“Whenever I tell you that the worst is yet to come,
you chide me over and over.
As we keep losing things important to us,
you hold your head high and peer beyond the clouds,
making me believe there’s a way through, into paradise.”~
-- from “Rakuen Made”
Pooled
rain on a turquoise-and-white patterned raincoat slid downwards down the
shoulder of an extended arm. A twirl of brown hair, infused with a dull red, protruded sparingly from the coat hood.
Noticing the water coating her exposed, pale hand, she lowered her right arm,
having been lost in thought. The other hand similarly lacked a glove, despite
this incessant downpour. But this was the long way home, a patch of forested
area, littered with various flora. Overhanging clouds decided that the ‘true’
day had long since passed, leaving an extended evening. Her hands sat inside
cramped pockets, as she gingerly stepped over a low-hanging nurse log, past the
usual thick-barked trees.
A scuff. Nearly falling down, she corrected herself by spacing her legs out, catching her breath for a fraction of a second, and continuing on. The falling of rain is pleasant, but..she thought, isn’t this getting excessive? Faintly purple eyes scanned the area ahead – yes, this was still the same route she took nearly every day. Somehow, her cheeks felt warm, as if this act still held much excitement. A dull throb wrapped around her right leg from ankle to calf. No matter, home was just a couple minutes away.
Her jacket was neatly hung from her door, providing surface area for drying. Deep breaths concurrently occurred as she briefly stabilized. Rain had soaked through her pants, prompting a switch to soft purple pants that clung to her skin. And the electric blue turtleneck for a loosely fitting red t-shirt. (Of course, the removed items were properly put away.) Then, she finally sank into her bed supine, given the chance to count the glow in the dark stars coating the ceiling. The first day of high school, and it was already raining viciously – certainly not the stereotypical image. (Not to mention, some would be offended by the notion that such a stereotype could exist.) A livre[1] sat by her bed – for she knows un peu[2] of French – written by the great Albert Camus. What else but La Peste[3]? And in her bookshelf was of course Kokoro by Natsume Soseki, No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai, and some volumes of Mushishi.
Granted, she thought, that may have been a bit strange for a fourteen year old girl, and this was a copy translated into English anyways. But at least she was not reading it right before breakfast. That would have been madness of the most existential order.
Rather than continue this pointless internal monologue, she brushed her teeth, and switched off the lights before returning to her bed. Twinkling stars hung above, as an aphorism, lulling her to sleep. And it struck just a few moments later. A malevolent, sinister, destructive case…of the zzzs. But, she did dream of fighting windmills.
Ha, as if the next day would be all that different, except the turtleneck was now a subdued maroon. Soft, dark blue corduroy pants covered her legs. She ran a brush through her hair, removing entanglements, as if an utter mess of polymer strands, and then checked by touch. Shiina turned towards her parent’s bedroom, reaching out, before opting to return to the mirror (in her bedroom). There. A navy blue ribbon now sat above the nape of her neck, prompting a brief blush. And the same patterned raincoat from yesterday. After brushing the sea of auburn once more, she grabbed her forest green backpack, laden with notebooks and et cetera. Kicking on rain boots swiftly, she catapulted out the door, opting for the right path from her home this time. But this was the route through a sea of houses and concrete sidewalks, the simple, short route.
She lowered her hood and sat down, imprinting the rain into the seat aligned with the axis of the whiteboard. There was still time, a clock reminded her. From her right, Shiina heard a girl whisper, “Excuse me…”
“Yes?” Shiina responded before realizing her cold tone. “I mean, go on…”
“My name is Anne. What’s your’s?”
“I’m, um, Shiina. Nice to…meet you…”she said before casting her gaze down.
“Are you one of those fabled loners?” Anne jested.
“E-e-eh…Maybe…”
A scuff. Nearly falling down, she corrected herself by spacing her legs out, catching her breath for a fraction of a second, and continuing on. The falling of rain is pleasant, but..she thought, isn’t this getting excessive? Faintly purple eyes scanned the area ahead – yes, this was still the same route she took nearly every day. Somehow, her cheeks felt warm, as if this act still held much excitement. A dull throb wrapped around her right leg from ankle to calf. No matter, home was just a couple minutes away.
Her jacket was neatly hung from her door, providing surface area for drying. Deep breaths concurrently occurred as she briefly stabilized. Rain had soaked through her pants, prompting a switch to soft purple pants that clung to her skin. And the electric blue turtleneck for a loosely fitting red t-shirt. (Of course, the removed items were properly put away.) Then, she finally sank into her bed supine, given the chance to count the glow in the dark stars coating the ceiling. The first day of high school, and it was already raining viciously – certainly not the stereotypical image. (Not to mention, some would be offended by the notion that such a stereotype could exist.) A livre[1] sat by her bed – for she knows un peu[2] of French – written by the great Albert Camus. What else but La Peste[3]? And in her bookshelf was of course Kokoro by Natsume Soseki, No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai, and some volumes of Mushishi.
Granted, she thought, that may have been a bit strange for a fourteen year old girl, and this was a copy translated into English anyways. But at least she was not reading it right before breakfast. That would have been madness of the most existential order.
Rather than continue this pointless internal monologue, she brushed her teeth, and switched off the lights before returning to her bed. Twinkling stars hung above, as an aphorism, lulling her to sleep. And it struck just a few moments later. A malevolent, sinister, destructive case…of the zzzs. But, she did dream of fighting windmills.
Ha, as if the next day would be all that different, except the turtleneck was now a subdued maroon. Soft, dark blue corduroy pants covered her legs. She ran a brush through her hair, removing entanglements, as if an utter mess of polymer strands, and then checked by touch. Shiina turned towards her parent’s bedroom, reaching out, before opting to return to the mirror (in her bedroom). There. A navy blue ribbon now sat above the nape of her neck, prompting a brief blush. And the same patterned raincoat from yesterday. After brushing the sea of auburn once more, she grabbed her forest green backpack, laden with notebooks and et cetera. Kicking on rain boots swiftly, she catapulted out the door, opting for the right path from her home this time. But this was the route through a sea of houses and concrete sidewalks, the simple, short route.
She lowered her hood and sat down, imprinting the rain into the seat aligned with the axis of the whiteboard. There was still time, a clock reminded her. From her right, Shiina heard a girl whisper, “Excuse me…”
“Yes?” Shiina responded before realizing her cold tone. “I mean, go on…”
“My name is Anne. What’s your’s?”
“I’m, um, Shiina. Nice to…meet you…”she said before casting her gaze down.
“Are you one of those fabled loners?” Anne jested.
“E-e-eh…Maybe…”
“That’s
fine!” Anne said, patting Shiina on the shoulder. “I’m that way too!”
“O-oh…” Shiina said while blushing heavily – she eyed the white dress Anne had adorned, her braided brown hair, and her brilliant green eyes. This person was a portable light source, shimmering and brilliant. Blinding, even.
“Individual activities are more fun anyways, right?”
“Naturally,” Shiina replied, attempting to sound cool.
The bell rang out, ending this briefest of discussions, and ushering in a momentary era of paying attention. By twenty minutes into the lesson, however, Shiina was dog-earing the piece of paper in front of her. Of course, her ears were oriented towards the teacher, and her eyes remained open – names like the Pythagorean theorem drifted in and out. Basic math stuff that should be in the past, at least by Shiina’s standards. She briefly brushed her hair laterally, and in doing so caught the eye of Anne, who smirked at her. Shiina nodded and returned her attention to the teacher. Ninety minute classes were revealed to, of course, be an antiquated idea, especially for basic algebra.
“Math not your thing?” Anne inquired during the brief 5-minute break between classes.
“It is. You?” Shiina responded tersely.
“Who cares about school?! The real me lives on the internet!” Anne whispered excitedly.
“My Little Monster?”
“Yep! Natsume! Wait, wait….you’re not surprised?” Anne said, peering into her friend’s eyes.
“No…I am familiar too…I prefer other Natsume, though.” Explained Shiina.
“Natsume Book of Friends? Oh wow, me too. You’re probably a Mushishi nerd too, huh?” Anne stuck out her tongue.
“Are you a loner?” Shiina replied expressionlessly.
“O-oh…” Shiina said while blushing heavily – she eyed the white dress Anne had adorned, her braided brown hair, and her brilliant green eyes. This person was a portable light source, shimmering and brilliant. Blinding, even.
“Individual activities are more fun anyways, right?”
“Naturally,” Shiina replied, attempting to sound cool.
The bell rang out, ending this briefest of discussions, and ushering in a momentary era of paying attention. By twenty minutes into the lesson, however, Shiina was dog-earing the piece of paper in front of her. Of course, her ears were oriented towards the teacher, and her eyes remained open – names like the Pythagorean theorem drifted in and out. Basic math stuff that should be in the past, at least by Shiina’s standards. She briefly brushed her hair laterally, and in doing so caught the eye of Anne, who smirked at her. Shiina nodded and returned her attention to the teacher. Ninety minute classes were revealed to, of course, be an antiquated idea, especially for basic algebra.
“Math not your thing?” Anne inquired during the brief 5-minute break between classes.
“It is. You?” Shiina responded tersely.
“Who cares about school?! The real me lives on the internet!” Anne whispered excitedly.
“My Little Monster?”
“Yep! Natsume! Wait, wait….you’re not surprised?” Anne said, peering into her friend’s eyes.
“No…I am familiar too…I prefer other Natsume, though.” Explained Shiina.
“Natsume Book of Friends? Oh wow, me too. You’re probably a Mushishi nerd too, huh?” Anne stuck out her tongue.
“Are you a loner?” Shiina replied expressionlessly.
Anne
laughed and said, “That’s cruel! Of course I am! I just occasionally do healthy
things, like eating broccoli instead of cookie dough and watching Natsume and
Madara argue a lot over some tripe like Dragon Ball.”
“Me
too, but I like non-anime too….like The Plague.”
Anne
checked on her smartphone. “French existentialism, huh? Camus and Sartre! Too
intense for me! Reading is tiring.”
“Seems
there is quite the abyss between us.”
“That’s
a cruel thing to say! But it might be kinda true,” Anne said, feigning a sad
face.
“Crime
and Punishment,” Shiina muttered.
“The
crime I understand, but what’s the punishment?” Anne jabbed back.
“Hmph.”
“Silent
treatment, huh? Now I might mistake you for a loner.”
“I
am.”
Anne
glanced at the clock briefly, and back to her friend. (For Anne did now
consider Shiina her friend.) Then, “How about going with me to the park today?
We can sit in a gazebo. As if we’re in Garden of Words, but without the despair.”
“I
usually go home that way…so sure,” Shiina confirmed stoically.
The bell finally rang
one last time, signaling their departure from the school. Anne, twirling her
dress, the best disguise for a loner, waited by the entrance, clad in a periwinkle
blue blouse and a rose patterned parasol – upon seeing Shiina, she tugged on
her friend’s rain coat. Together, they walked in this comical fashion, but
underneath the heavy downpour, few would see such behavior as aberrant. Shiina’s
pupils had shrunk a little bit, her concern washing over her body, soaking into
her sympathetic nervous system. Her vagus nerve was truly working overtime. 
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