Sunday, December 29, 2019

2020 Resolutions (tentative)


1.      1. Successfully serve out Fulbright program (objectives subject to change).
a.      Have literature review accepted by journal after reviewer comments.
b.      Labwork
                                                    i.     Cell-based project and other wet-lab work
                                                   ii.     Machine learning project
1.      Study R and Python
                                                  iii.     Publish a manuscript on work
c.      Outreach:
                                                    i.     Develop a learning guide on disability outreach and the lab’s work
                                                   ii.     Work with Muscular dystrophy Canada as a client and as a researcher
1.      Assist with Burden of Illness study
                                                  iii.     Work with Office of Disability Advocacy
1.      Teach Alberta government about disability
2.      Discuss snow removal
                                                  iv.     Accessibility advisory committee
1.      Give recommendations on buildings, roads, sidewalks to committee at general meeting
                                                   v.     Other outreach opportunities with schools, hospitals, general public, and everything else
d.      Engagement      
                                                    i.     Resume extracurricular activities: Toastmasters, Japanese Conversational Club, Feminist Club, perhaps pick up one more?
                                                   ii.     Bring outreach into engagement
                                                  iii.     Post at least 2 posts per month on Fulbright blog
                                                  iv.     Keep developing Fulbright goals!
e.      After Fulbright:
                                                    i.     Network/apply for PhDs, jobs, etc
2.      2.Toastmasters
a.      Serve secretary role at university toastmasters through June
                                                    i.     Assist with developing “alternative” meeting schedules
b.      Mentor two students in performing the Icebreaker speech
c.      Complete two Pathways projects
d.      Perform another interpretative speech
3 3. Languages
a.      Develop conversational and basic proficiency in Urdu and Japanese writing and speaking 
4 4.  Games/Visual Novels
a.      Read Fata Morgana, Higurashi Ch7/8 (If 8 is out), Zero Escape
5 5.  AnimeFeminist
a.      Have written two articles for AnimeFeminist by end of the year.
66. Anime goals:
a.      Finish Cardcaptor Sakura, Yugioh Vrains, and Hunter x Hunter (2011)
b.      Watching <12; Rewatching <6, Paused <6, Dropped <10; Completed > 999

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Day 2 of 12: Hyouka, and I Scream (Again)

By this point, you have also heard my story of Hyouka -- how it got me into anime in general, and how it kept me floating, even during a stormy undercurrent. But you will likely not know that I have rewatched the show *twice* this year.

During my first watch, I recognized that I related to Chitanda's curiosity; in the first watch of this year, I realized that Chitanda features the same shifting attention span that I feature. But I am leaving this topic aside! You see....I am hoping to write about this in a more formal setting. So check back later!

It is strange that I did a second rewatch of the show this year. Here's a good place for a trigger warning: I will briefly touch on the KyoAni fire here. Two very key staff for Hyouka passed away in the fire, and that led me to attach sadness to the series. I did rewatch episode 5 of Hyouka after the fire and felt myself overcome with emotion. That pushed me to wait, and I was not sure I'd get to do a rewatch for a long time. It's *still* hard for me to watch KyoAni works.

So what changed?

Well, Hyouka, for those of you who may recall, focuses on Oreki's perspective changing due to meeting Chitanda. Of course, that means I myself will look at that angle. But my thoughts on Chitanda have grown more curious over time.

The reason for this curiosity is because I made a friend, during my time in Canada so far, that reminds me much of Chitanda.  My friend is very much a smart and curious person herself!  If you're interested, then too bad! I am intentionally being cryptic here. But for all intents and purposes, this drove me to want another rewatch of Hyouka, even in such a short amount of time. It let me overcome my fear of watching KyoAni works -- this fear that has persisted since July.

Beyond that, this gave me a great chance to observe Chitanda from a new perspective. Despite being one of my favorite characters for 7 years, I have not quite understood the dynamics around *how* I get this impression. But having met someone in person like her, I gained a much better handle on the details of body language. Like where one pays attention, how one uses hands, and how one uses their eyes. Given Kyoani's excellence in delicate character animation, these details come vividly to life. In the end, no matter how many times I have seen the show, I found myself completely and utterly spellbound beyond any previous viewing.

Here is my biggest fascination from this experience: meeting people and going to new places can shift your frame so much you find even more beauty in your favorite works. Being able to tie a fictional character to a person also manages to create a sort of mutual humanity; the representation lets you appreciate the person more, which lets you enjoy the representation more. This is a truly powerful feeling for me to keep in mind.

Previously, I have generally been a viewer who does not think "what about myself has changed between viewings". I certainly cannot tie such changes to most of my Hyouka watches. But going to Canada, despite it seeming so similar to US on paper, has helped bring on a great change for myself as a viewer and as a person. Now I can more clearly see this growth play out in context of the anime that I watch. And I can tie it to specific mechanics of anime too!

Truly, I can call Hyouka a favorite anime that has guided my life.

Day 1 of 12 in Anime: Yamada Directs My Life's Story

Everyone reading this post hopefully knows that Yamada adores framing shots through legs, especially through the calves. It is a 'meme' at this point. But, given that she is probably the greatest director ever, that is entirely okay! I hope you realize, though, that this is actually a post about me.

One common thread on this blog is my condition Becker Muscular Dystrophy, which primarily impacts my legs. They can be the greatest contribution to my self-consciousness, especially under pain -- even if that cannot be seen. Back in Fall 2012, when this pain was at its height, I grew to fear my legs and hate the sight of them. Since then, I have psychologically and physically grown re-accustomed to my legs. This is more due to physical therapy and growth as a person.

But perhaps the way Yamada uses legs as a framing device highlights the beauty each person's legs bring as both a physical and emotional support to people. (Of course, this does, unfortunately, exclude people who do not have legs in the conventional sense.) How people stand, by making use of their legs, can often highlight deep facets of well-being. For example, I spread out my legs a lot more when I feel very tired to give more stability. Legs are an essential part of expression, not just as a link in the chain -- and Yamada fully understands that.

This is not limited to Yamada -- look no further than the walk cycles by famed animator Ebata (see Absolute Duo OP for instance) and the depictions of gait in Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso.

By making this a consistent part of her cinematographic language, Yamada brings positivity and beauty to legs, which are often excluded. Usually, the face receives the majority of attention. Most humans are socialized to focus on the face. But the face is not all of body language!

From here, Yamada would be an excellent choice to direct my life's story, by reframing legs from a weakness into a beautiful strength. As my attention is often on my legs, that would make for a reasonable focus in storyboarding. My story starts when my mom noticed my legs stiffening up while playing -- and I can only imagine how well a director like Yamada could bring that to life!

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Celine Dion, 2019: A review

Celine Dion in 2019 -- no this is not a joke! Coming a day after Cirque du Soleil (on the 30th), I got the feeling my parents really really wanted to relive their time in French Canada. Dion and Cirque du Soleil both hail from Montreal, Quebec -- where my parents lived, and where my older sister was born. Admittedly, I was skeptical about this venture, simply thinking that "well this is what my mom wants to see." So when we paid nearly a thousand dollars for the four of us, this terrified me a bit. Fortunately, an online friend was there to reassure me that Dion is a technically proficient singer.

The venue itself, the Colosseum, was expansive and beautiful, coated in lavish red. Seeing this sight eased me into the thrill of what we would see. At some point, I was made to put away my phone, and focus my energy on the curtains in front of us. It was not just me -- the thrill was played up rather deliberately. Dion's musical accompaniment, who filled  the entire stage, were lined up neatly, with drummers flanking the other performers; three backup singers; and a grand piano (and player obviously). A serene sweep of strings, and then Celine Dion herself appeared, illuminated by a stage light. There the clapping, and the performance proper, began.


Though Dion is arguably better known in Canada and in France, I had been exposed to many of her famous singles as a child. Especially "My Heart Will Go On", the famous Titanic theme song, which I had sung many times in my youth. (It's on record.) As an adult contemporary type of singer, her music clearly strikes a chord with people of a particular group (middle aged women). It is very sultry, focused on themes around love and romance. As a listener, it is not my type of music nowadays, and did not expect to find a draw in the performance. Instead, I held out hope for Dion the performer.


Finally, the sense of why this performance is so highly praised became clear. Immensely refined yet strongly purposeful movements filled every second of her time on the stage; paired with her ability to cleanly create emphasis in singing, Dion was able to make the most of every word. Albeit rather corny, this performance elevated songs I may not love on their own into that which I cannot help but respect a lot. Her incredible vocal control was on full display here.

To call Dion simply a singer would be disrespectful. Between songs, she shared a story of co-starring in a film with Ryan Reynolds. Clearly, his wit rubbed off on her! She talked about receiving a PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL letter from Reynolds, and assuming he was asking her to act with him once more. After recounting moments of woeful fretting, working on shoulder motions and facial gestures, Dion revealed that she had not yet read the letter! (It was a shock to my parents, but not to me.) Instead of asking her to act.....Reynolds asked her to perform a song for Deadpool 2! This piece, "Ashes", followed after. For sure, the pairing of Deadpool visuals with Dion is deeply ironic. Even more so that a concert spoiled me on the film! I recall "Ashes" as the most powerful song from that evening -- so perhaps it is time to watch it!

Her stage presence was equally impressive during moments when she was simply speaking to the audience. Another reason this performance seems so praised is how warmly she connects with the audience. Mind you, this is a gigantic audience! This all made her efforts at audience participation deeply admirable. She asked us to sing the line "Because you loved me" with her to close out one of her pieces. In another place, she had the professional singing accompaniment model part of the chorus, and had the audience practice and then apply this to the song itself. The audience participation, in this form, did die down (which struck me as a missed opportunity) but it was deeply effective in encouraging everyone to take part in the concert. Considering how expensive the tickets were, I certainly would not expect less! Dion also told us jokes and comments between songs.


Though more restrained, obviously, her accompaniment played a strong role as well, especially the singers. This came across in its best form in the duet for Beauty and the Beast's theme song. There was an arrangement of drummers on both sides, with the brass, guitar, and piano instruments towards the outskirts. This concentrated the louder instruments on the sides, with the softer instruments like the strings and Dion's singing towards the middle, creating an excellent mixing effect. The accompaniment arrangement was a genius part of the performance, bringing the songs fully to life.


As "Ashes" is perhaps the single best piece of the performance, I have to give great props to the song Dion sang in French. Ultimately, this is one of two things I held out hope for (you know the other). Though I am rusty in French, I could understand enough to tell that it very much fit her adult contemporary style. It was an excellent experience to hear a language other than English sung in a theater this grand. ....Unfortunately, I did not quite catch the name.

The second thing should be pretty clear to anyone alive during the late 1990s -- Dion's world famous Titanic theme song. She kept us guessing until the end. The lights turned off, and the silence became unnatural, creating a tension. And then the sound of waves appeared, and an ocean enveloped the back image. Of course, the audience was incredibly excited by this (including myself secretly), and it served as an excellent closer to the performance. Whatever energy Dion had lost during the concert was clearly restored here. Alas, she had one more trick involved, and she closed with a different but still fairly popular song.

Celine Dion was a deeply gracious host -- beyond making efforts to pull the audience along, outside of the act of singing, she extended much gratitude towards the performers accompanying her. She even thanked the stage hands, and everyone who helps a concert run smoothly, even if you cannot see them.


There are some aspects of the show that could be improved, from my perspective. For instance, the audience participation event could have been started earlier and taken a greater part of the show. It seemed clear that, though well done, Dion did the participation as an experiment. Given the simple nature of her lyrics, there were many opportunities to continue this participation experiment.


At the same time, her songs often retained their original aesthetic, including some techniques (like gated drums!) that come across as dated. Some aspects of the show did feel straight from the late 1990s! Though the Titanic theme song is an excellent candidate for being unchanged, some other pieces would be improved with rearrangement.


While on the subject of rearrangement, I felt that Dion and her accompaniment could have employed more variety of instrument combinations. In all fairness, the intermission featured jazz pieces, and then switched into an intimate quartet, leading into a quieter song by Dion herself. Other performers got opportunities to solo, like the duet partner in Beauty and the Beast or a violin player. Or the incredible woodwind performance in the Titanic theme song! But there could have been many more interesting combinations. For example, with Dion's excellently projected yet nuanced vocals, a piano-based song would have delivered well as a transition into a more emotive piece. I am even curious what a Dion song backed primarily by flutes would sound like! Though the performers did very well, I forsee even more of a role for them.


I emerged from this concert feeling thoroughly energized, having witnessed a great performance. This has to be one of the best concerts I've attended -- though I do not attend many -- and this is following a wave of skepticism. Could this show be worth it, I worried. It is worth it, and was a powerful sendoff for Dion, as she moves on from performing in Las Vegas.

Friday, May 31, 2019

All You Need is (Cirque du Soleil's) LOVE (30 May 2019)


            Las Vegas, the Sin City of the United States! Far from my usual scene – VERY far metaphorically— I was here for a purpose. By here, I mean the Mirage Hotel and casino, all for a showing of Cirque du Soleil’s LOVE. (They have a theater too.) Unfortunately, the building put me into a miserable mood – though large, the entire lobby was set aside for a casino and a fake forest, without any seats anywhere save for slot machines. Ironic that the place that only existed, to me, for Cirque du Soleil was so frustratingly hollow. For half an hour, I took a sitting nap, wiling away the boring amount of time before 7:00 PM.


            Not yet have I discussed LOVE itself! Though the Mirage Hotel is entirely lackluster, the promise of this attraction weighed on my mind. For the past 12 years, this performance, which rearranges Beatles music into sonically-centered acting on a stage, has been happening at this hotel. To put it simply, there is much pressure riding on this evening for me. It is the highlight of my Las Vegas trip – it *has* to be.

            As unimpressive as the Mirage Hotel is, its circular theater features an impressive sense of scale, aided by the two large screens running along the walls. Imbued by a blue light, this stage was, without a single performer yet standing on it, exuding a cool aura. Then the yellow stage lights came on, and the announcer gave his spiel. No flash photography, no videos, no sound recording. Usual stuff for this sort of thing.

            A 90 minute performance cannot be neatly summarized, especially one as vibrant as this, but I shall make a valiant effort. From what I understood, LOVE draws a thread between the Beatles growing up in the post-WWII era, seeing rising authoritarianism in the United Kingdom, and demonstrating a radical commitment to love in the face of repression. The Beatles, as suggested by the stage show, used their influence to help curb state-sanctioned violence, represented by some rather corny cops with batons. Even if you felt like the Beatles had little depth left, you will likely find yourself surprised by this energetic show. “We all want to change the world”, in the words of one of their songs. “All you need is love”, in the words of another of their songs. Together these two lyrics best define what Cirque du Soleil’s LOVE is all about.

 

My preferred strategy here is to talk about what was done well, and then pivot towards how the work could be made even more powerful.

 

First of all, the variety was excellent and the greatest draw of the entire performance; every song, and there were many, felt like they adopted a unique identity, especially the songs describing creative visual imagery. Set and costume design strongly supported this pursuit, making every scene stand out.

            Filled with creative expression, there was rarely a moment where the show felt uninspired. Often this occurred through a combination of acrobatics in the air while other performers danced and moved across the stage. The motions themselves captured many aspects of human expression, especially on love.    Additionally, the stage was always filled, with lighting, with performers, with smoke, with the sets. This included transitions, where we would see performers rush onto or off the stage, with a grand gesture, and where the props were changed. Even these transitions were smoothly refined, ensuring that we always had something to keep our eyes on.

 

The visual experimentation must be thoroughly and highly praised. A beautiful use of lighting permeated every scene, and provided as much energy as the music or the performances. Often curtains and screens were used to both provide additional sources of sensory stimulation, but also to divert light and create excellent effects. In this regard, the highlight of the show came when a periwinkle blue tarp was flown over the audience; though little participation was required, it provided an admirably transient view of the staging, drawing our attention to how the lighting changed throughout this scene. Though perhaps a tad claustrophobic, the tarp was one such highlight of the show that felt like it came from extensive experimentation. Through these many experiments, the performance came off as nakedly memorable and powerful, even as some parts perhaps seem rough.

 

Though each scene is quite strong, some were especially strong, especially when paired with surreal visual imagery. For example, we saw a school of jellyfish floating overhead during the “Octopus’s Garden” performance, which stuck out in my mind. The beautiful red glow during “Strawberry Fields”, with the sky filled with bubbles, also managed to thoroughly capture myself as a viewer. (On the flip side, a song like “Come Together”, which lacks this aesthetic cohesion, is not nearly as memorable.) The bubble effect was called back when a series of rose petals were dropped overhead during the closing act of the performance, also providing a memorable scene. However, it would be entirely remiss to ignore “Revolution”, which offers a thematic centerpiece of the performance. The aforementioned silly cops appear as the villains of the scene, as people run from cops, while others resist them. This offers a perspective on the Beatles that is not quite novel, but brought me to a new light of their music. I’d forgotten how inspirational their work appears in original context.

 

The roughly three-song conclusion consisted of “Hey Jude”, “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Heart Clubs Band”, and “All You Need is Love” – and it worked quite well! “Hey Jude” worked to reassure the audience and the Beatles themselves of how adversity can be overcome. “Sgt Pepper’s” gave us the last rush of energy, and let us know the show was concluding. However, “All You Need is Love” provided the curtain call


            Given that the performance has been going on for 12 years, LOVE clearly can adapt to fit changing tastes of audiences. In light of that, there are clear areas that could be improved to make LOVE even stronger. Though the deep dive of the Beatles’ music is awe-inspiring, there is a sense that too many songs are made into dance numbers, making LOVE feel incredibly dense, with little rest. On a practical level, this meant that my ears often did not have a chance to recover between songs. There are exceptions of course – the use of “While my Guitar Gently Weeps” offered a very clean, yet soothing, transition.

 

The overabundance of songs also hurt the ability for the narrative to connect as much as possible. While my ears did hurt, I also observed that some performances were difficult to understand as a cohesive narrative. If the number of songs was reduced, then spoken word, or dialogue, could be used more extensively to guide the viewer through the story. In the earlier parts of LOVE, where the tone is still being set, this would have solidified the goals of the work. That is not to say spoken word should usurp the circus elements – that would defeat the purpose! – but its usage could help the viewer keep track. Perhaps some type of brief recap every ‘third’ of the show would help here. Ultimately, the conclusion of LOVE works beautifully, and these improvements would raise the finale even more.

            There are also some rather experimental techniques used – we see avant-garde mixing of circus and 2D animation for example – that could also be strung together to create an implied narrative. For example, if certain kinds of stage lighting were consistently used throughout the performance, we could associate that lighting with a theme. These techniques are consistently used to keep the performance lively – and they surely succeeded – but could be used to bolster the narrative as well.

 

All in all, Cirque du Soleil’s LOVE offers a fascinating introspection on the Beatles, even with their legendary status. Not being a Beatles fan, I did not connect with the music very directly, and largely relied on the excellent performances, and various visual techniques, to attach great meaning to the show. That, to me, demonstrates how largely effective LOVE is. LOVE could be made even stronger by using speaking and visual techniques to connect the narrative segments together more cleanly. However, the fact that nearly every scene worked very well held up the show. In the end, this *is* my highlight of this Las Vegas Trip, and this position is well-deserved.