Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Day 2 of 12: Hyouka, and I Scream (Again)

By this point, you have also heard my story of Hyouka -- how it got me into anime in general, and how it kept me floating, even during a stormy undercurrent. But you will likely not know that I have rewatched the show *twice* this year.

During my first watch, I recognized that I related to Chitanda's curiosity; in the first watch of this year, I realized that Chitanda features the same shifting attention span that I feature. But I am leaving this topic aside! You see....I am hoping to write about this in a more formal setting. So check back later!

It is strange that I did a second rewatch of the show this year. Here's a good place for a trigger warning: I will briefly touch on the KyoAni fire here. Two very key staff for Hyouka passed away in the fire, and that led me to attach sadness to the series. I did rewatch episode 5 of Hyouka after the fire and felt myself overcome with emotion. That pushed me to wait, and I was not sure I'd get to do a rewatch for a long time. It's *still* hard for me to watch KyoAni works.

So what changed?

Well, Hyouka, for those of you who may recall, focuses on Oreki's perspective changing due to meeting Chitanda. Of course, that means I myself will look at that angle. But my thoughts on Chitanda have grown more curious over time.

The reason for this curiosity is because I made a friend, during my time in Canada so far, that reminds me much of Chitanda.  My friend is very much a smart and curious person herself!  If you're interested, then too bad! I am intentionally being cryptic here. But for all intents and purposes, this drove me to want another rewatch of Hyouka, even in such a short amount of time. It let me overcome my fear of watching KyoAni works -- this fear that has persisted since July.

Beyond that, this gave me a great chance to observe Chitanda from a new perspective. Despite being one of my favorite characters for 7 years, I have not quite understood the dynamics around *how* I get this impression. But having met someone in person like her, I gained a much better handle on the details of body language. Like where one pays attention, how one uses hands, and how one uses their eyes. Given Kyoani's excellence in delicate character animation, these details come vividly to life. In the end, no matter how many times I have seen the show, I found myself completely and utterly spellbound beyond any previous viewing.

Here is my biggest fascination from this experience: meeting people and going to new places can shift your frame so much you find even more beauty in your favorite works. Being able to tie a fictional character to a person also manages to create a sort of mutual humanity; the representation lets you appreciate the person more, which lets you enjoy the representation more. This is a truly powerful feeling for me to keep in mind.

Previously, I have generally been a viewer who does not think "what about myself has changed between viewings". I certainly cannot tie such changes to most of my Hyouka watches. But going to Canada, despite it seeming so similar to US on paper, has helped bring on a great change for myself as a viewer and as a person. Now I can more clearly see this growth play out in context of the anime that I watch. And I can tie it to specific mechanics of anime too!

Truly, I can call Hyouka a favorite anime that has guided my life.

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