2020 Resolutions (tentative)

1.      1. Successfully serve out Fulbright program (objectives subject to change).

a.      Have literature review accepted by journal after reviewer comments.

b.      Labwork

                                                    i.     Cell-based project and other wet-lab work

                                                   ii.     Machine learning project

1.      Study R and Python

                                                  iii.     Publish a manuscript on work

c.      Outreach:

                                                    i.     Develop a learning guide on disability outreach and the lab’s work

                                                   ii.     Work with Muscular dystrophy Canada as a client and as a researcher

1.      Assist with Burden of Illness study

                                                  iii.     Work with Office of Disability Advocacy

1.      Teach Alberta government about disability

2.      Discuss snow removal

                                                  iv.     Accessibility advisory committee

1.      Give recommendations on buildings, roads, sidewalks to committee at general meeting

                                                   v.     Other outreach opportunities with schools, hospitals, general public, and everything else

d.      Engagement      

                                                    i.     Resume extracurricular activities: Toastmasters, Japanese Conversational Club, Feminist Club, perhaps pick up one more?

                                                   ii.     Bring outreach into engagement

                                                  iii.     Post at least 2 posts per month on Fulbright blog

                                                  iv.     Keep developing Fulbright goals!

e.      After Fulbright:

                                                    i.     Network/apply for PhDs, jobs, etc

2.      2.Toastmasters

a.      Serve secretary role at university toastmasters through June

                                                    i.     Assist with developing “alternative” meeting schedules

b.      Mentor two students in performing the Icebreaker speech

c.      Complete two Pathways projects

d.      Perform another interpretative speech

3 3. Languages

a.      Develop conversational and basic proficiency in Urdu and Japanese writing and speaking 

4 4.  Games/Visual Novels

a.      Read Fata Morgana, Higurashi Ch7/8 (If 8 is out), Zero Escape

5 5.  AnimeFeminist

a.      Have written two articles for AnimeFeminist by end of the year.

66. Anime goals:

a.      Finish Cardcaptor Sakura, Yugioh Vrains, and Hunter x Hunter (2011)

b.      Watching <12; Rewatching <6, Paused <6, Dropped <10; Completed > 999

Day 2 of 12: Hyouka, and I Scream (Again)

By this point, you have also heard my story of Hyouka -- how it got me into anime in general, and how it kept me floating, even during a stormy undercurrent. But you will likely not know that I have rewatched the show *twice* this year.

During my first watch, I recognized that I related to Chitanda's curiosity; in the first watch of this year, I realized that Chitanda features the same shifting attention span that I feature. But I am leaving this topic aside! You see....I am hoping to write about this in a more formal setting. So check back later!

It is strange that I did a second rewatch of the show this year. Here's a good place for a trigger warning: I will briefly touch on the KyoAni fire here. Two very key staff for Hyouka passed away in the fire, and that led me to attach sadness to the series. I did rewatch episode 5 of Hyouka after the fire and felt myself overcome with emotion. That pushed me to wait, and I was not sure I'd get to do a rewatch for a long time. It's *still* hard for me to watch KyoAni works.

So what changed?

Well, Hyouka, for those of you who may recall, focuses on Oreki's perspective changing due to meeting Chitanda. Of course, that means I myself will look at that angle. But my thoughts on Chitanda have grown more curious over time.

The reason for this curiosity is because I made a friend, during my time in Canada so far, that reminds me much of Chitanda.  My friend is very much a smart and curious person herself!  If you're interested, then too bad! I am intentionally being cryptic here. But for all intents and purposes, this drove me to want another rewatch of Hyouka, even in such a short amount of time. It let me overcome my fear of watching KyoAni works -- this fear that has persisted since July.

Beyond that, this gave me a great chance to observe Chitanda from a new perspective. Despite being one of my favorite characters for 7 years, I have not quite understood the dynamics around *how* I get this impression. But having met someone in person like her, I gained a much better handle on the details of body language. Like where one pays attention, how one uses hands, and how one uses their eyes. Given Kyoani's excellence in delicate character animation, these details come vividly to life. In the end, no matter how many times I have seen the show, I found myself completely and utterly spellbound beyond any previous viewing.

Here is my biggest fascination from this experience: meeting people and going to new places can shift your frame so much you find even more beauty in your favorite works. Being able to tie a fictional character to a person also manages to create a sort of mutual humanity; the representation lets you appreciate the person more, which lets you enjoy the representation more. This is a truly powerful feeling for me to keep in mind.

Previously, I have generally been a viewer who does not think "what about myself has changed between viewings". I certainly cannot tie such changes to most of my Hyouka watches. But going to Canada, despite it seeming so similar to US on paper, has helped bring on a great change for myself as a viewer and as a person. Now I can more clearly see this growth play out in context of the anime that I watch. And I can tie it to specific mechanics of anime too!

Truly, I can call Hyouka a favorite anime that has guided my life.

Day 1 of 12 in Anime: Yamada Directs My Life's Story

Everyone reading this post hopefully knows that Yamada adores framing shots through legs, especially through the calves. It is a 'meme' at this point. But, given that she is probably the greatest director ever, that is entirely okay! I hope you realize, though, that this is actually a post about me.

One common thread on this blog is my condition Becker Muscular Dystrophy, which primarily impacts my legs. They can be the greatest contribution to my self-consciousness, especially under pain -- even if that cannot be seen. Back in Fall 2012, when this pain was at its height, I grew to fear my legs and hate the sight of them. Since then, I have psychologically and physically grown re-accustomed to my legs. This is more due to physical therapy and growth as a person.

But perhaps the way Yamada uses legs as a framing device highlights the beauty each person's legs bring as both a physical and emotional support to people. (Of course, this does, unfortunately, exclude people who do not have legs in the conventional sense.) How people stand, by making use of their legs, can often highlight deep facets of well-being. For example, I spread out my legs a lot more when I feel very tired to give more stability. Legs are an essential part of expression, not just as a link in the chain -- and Yamada fully understands that.

This is not limited to Yamada -- look no further than the walk cycles by famed animator Ebata (see Absolute Duo OP for instance) and the depictions of gait in Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso.

By making this a consistent part of her cinematographic language, Yamada brings positivity and beauty to legs, which are often excluded. Usually, the face receives the majority of attention. Most humans are socialized to focus on the face. But the face is not all of body language!

From here, Yamada would be an excellent choice to direct my life's story, by reframing legs from a weakness into a beautiful strength. As my attention is often on my legs, that would make for a reasonable focus in storyboarding. My story starts when my mom noticed my legs stiffening up while playing -- and I can only imagine how well a director like Yamada could bring that to life!