Thursday, December 31, 2020

2021 Resolutions

1.     Professional

a.      Future:

                                                    i.     Determine future path whether Ph.D., job, or something else (goal to be clarified in April 2020)

                                                   ii.     Continue to study R and Data Science (to be clarified in February 2020)

b.      Canada

                                                    i.     Yokota Lab:

1.      Complete and publish literature review #3 in 2020

2.      Continue collaboration in another way (Goal to be clarified in April 2020)

                                                   ii.     Accessibility:

1.      Continue contact with Voices of Albertans with Disabilities

2.      Continue contact with Edmonton Accessibility Advisory Committee

3.      Continue contact with related groups such as Office of Advocacy for Persons with Disabilities

c.      US volunteer

                                                    i.     Get involved with accessibility locally (Goal to be clarified in February 2020)

2.     Health

a.      Exercise:

                                                    i.     At least one 10 minute walk per day and calf stretch

                                                   ii.     Theraband exercises twice a day

                                                  iii.     Yoga/stretches twice a day

b.      Reduce cholesterol in diet (goal to be revisited in April 2020)

c.      Keep regular with doctor visits (at least 1 per year)

d.      Cooking:

                                                    i.     Cook a meal at least twice a week

3.      Gaming

a.      VNs

                                                    i.     Complete Higurashi

                                                   ii.     Start Umineko

                                                  iii.     Read at least three short (less than 10 hr) VNs including:

1.      Ame no Marginal

                                                  iv.     Read Subahibi

b.      Games

                                                    i.     The Wind Waker Randomizer (finish seed)

                                                   ii.     Zero Escape series

                                                  iii.     Bastion

                                                  iv.     Transistor

                                                   v.     Knights of the Old Republic

                                                  vi.     Silver Case

                                                vii.     25th Ward

4.     Anime

a.      Precure

                                                    i.     Watch GoPri and Smile

                                                   ii.     See TroPre airing

                                                  iii.     Complete Hugtto

b.      Streams

                                                    i.     Stream at least 5 shows

c.      Long shows

                                                    i.     Hunter x Hunter (2011)

                                                   ii.     Cardcaptor Sakura

                                                  iii.     Yugioh Vrains

d.      Watch Gundam trilogy

e.      See at least three shows from 2020

f.       See at least three ‘90s shows other than Goldfish Warning

5.    Writing

a.      AniFem

                                                    i.     Finalize work on Hyouka article

                                                   ii.     Pitch, draft, and write another article in 2021

b.      Blog:

                                                    i.     Write 1 non-update post of notable length (2 pages+) per four months

                                                   ii.     Write 1 shorter post (less than 2 pages) every month

6.      Toastmasters

a.      Continue participation in both clubs

                                                    i.     Attend weekly

                                                   ii.     Pathways:

1.      Complete Path 1 (by finishing Level 5)

2.      Begin Path 2 and complete through Level 2

                                                  iii.     Perform non-Pathways speeches twice

                                                  iv.     Mentor at least one student in performing Icebreaker

7.      Language study

a.      Japanese

                                                    i.     Achieve N5-N3 vocabulary mastery via Anki decks and other resources

                                                   ii.     Study Japanese grammar weekly

1.      Become able to write basic sentences and paragraphs (4 sentences or more)

                                                  iii.     Continue to participate in Japanese Conversational Club weekly

1.      Attain conversational proficiency in Japanese

b.      Urdu

                                                    i.     Practice Urdu written weekly

                                                   ii.     Practice Urdu spoken weekly

Monday, January 6, 2020

The Vaunted Langbaan Journey: Gourmands nestled within a valley of thai food

My older sister, back in Oregon for just over a week, insisted we arrive at Langbaan by 8pm, well in advance of the 8:45 pm reservation. Even more challenging -- we had to drive from Seattle to Portland in time! Once home, we had just enough time to freshen up, make sure our outfits were up to par, and grab our younger sister. 

My older sister is the truest gourmand of us all, eager to investigate every offering this city has to offer. My younger sister and I not as much. But we were all equally excited to try out this 12-dish tasting menu! I've never actually had a tasting menu before now. 

While waiting for our food, I took a chance to look around and scope out the rest of the restaurant.



Being a taster menu, there was of course no choice available to us but to eat every dish as it came out. Given how intense this menu is, I could not possibly hope to explain each of these dishes. Describing the totality of the meal is difficult enough!
But I must say that the dishes were heavily biased towards seafood, including ones such as lobster that I rarely eat. My older sister can eat seafood much more proficiently than either of us younger siblings. I made a sincere effort to eat everything that came my way, but also helped out with the dishes my younger sister passed our way.

The following images of our meal but are largely out of order! Sorry but it hurts my brain to even consider how I ate all this food, let alone which foods I ate.

The below dish was essentially chicken liver mousse, which disgusts me in concept but works out to be only slightly foreign in taste. It's impressive that I could be this receptive to a concept this unnatural to me! I probably would not eat this again, but I'm glad I got the chance. A lot of this dinner can be described by this feeling.




While I am not normally a "shrimp" person, I enjoyed the below dish! That makes this dish especially remarkable. Langbaan in general relished in forcing me to expand my food comfort zone far more than before. All while still fully enjoying myself!


A black sesame donut filled with black sesame jelly does not seem immediately appealing at first either. It is very chewy, with the texture of many seeds, and that is not natural to me either. But pairing the donut with the yellow passionfruit curd opened up a new door for the donut; simultaneously unintrusive in flavor and powerfully sweet, this dish proved a surprising delight.


We also had venison that my sisters both described as frightfully spicy. Though chewy, since obviously venison is gamier, the meat still felt pleasant to eat, even for someone like me who dislikes overly chewy foods. As for the spiciness, my mouth was lightly set on fire, but far from the worst I have experienced at a Thai restaurant.






This is SUCH an American thing to say, but: the below dumplings tasted like chicken, even though they were very clearly seafood. The texture felt smoother, like chicken, and it was a true testament to the chef's skill in both presentation and creating great tastes. I am especially confident in this description. After all, my younger sister passed on this dish to me!


Below are the last three dishes we were presented. As you can see, one dish was just plain rice, as we do not eat pork, which naturally also excludes PORK BLOOD. (Honestly, the original dish idea comes across as rather unpleasant, so I would much rather accept this plain rice.) One dish was, I believe, the venison (shown in an earlier photo). So I must, therefore, draw attention, to the item on the left -- the mackerel. This dish was meant to be a leafy taco, and I did partake in the dish that way. But it was incredibly spicy, prompting the intense blast I had been anticipating this whole time. On top of its great heat -- an infernal heat -- I suddenly realized how very full my sisters and I were. At this point, we had to ask for food to be packed, or we would not be able to wrap up the night with dessert!

My sister nervously asked if we were allowed to pack the last two items. Being a tasting menu, something unfamiliar to all of us, we had no idea about the rules! The server made a lighthearted joke about no food leaving before explaining that it was entirely allowed. We were definitely relieved -- because that mackerel at the least deserved to be completed, no matter how many tears it prompted (from its spiciness).

Somewhere in this dinner I requested a club cardamom soda, which was a novel experience for me! However, I felt a mysterious stress placed on my body, which was the real reason I ordered this drink. For whatever reason, the second half of the dinner marked a period of great nerves for me. In spite of that, the soda infused me with a desperately needed sense of energy!
 
 This banana tart is admittedly not incredibly thai, especially with the coffee flavoring, but it was a fun way to bring the meal to a smooth close.



Langbaan is an exceptionally difficult restaurant to review because of the great variety of foods on display. It's impossible to call simply a dining experience and instead should be referred to as a "food journey". In general, the dishes were well ordered and flowed peacefully from one to the next, including a gentle escalation of spiciness. We started with simple dishes like the chicken liver mousse and shrimp that had a very mild aftertaste, lingering just a touch. Steadily, the tastes merged together, leading directly into the most intense dishes -- venison and mackerel-- towards the end. Then the strength of a hundred suns poured into us for a brief moment, overpowering our senses. Having been eating for two hours straight made this moment even more taxing.

But we felt a true sense of resolution returning to milder tastes with the dessert items. This juxtaposition -- the hottest food of the evening followed by black sesame donuts and banana tarts -- was responsible for bringing the true height of the dinner. For me, this marked the true role of the tasting menu.

While I must admit that some individual dishes were not well suited for me, I could eat some of every single food item. For me, that is extraordinarily difficult, especially when items such as shrimp and lobster are involved. As an eater, I am very picky with texture, which turns me away from many different dishes -- but here I found myself confronted with strange textures but ultimately still entranced. For me, this novelty of texture is what truly pushed me beyond my old sense of taste. One could talk of a post-Langbaan me, even!

My older sister laughs every time I call Langbaan an 'experience.' But it's incredibly true that Langabaan exists as a true opportunity to re-evaluate one's sense of food itself, not just Thai food. Just earlier today, I was asked to compare Langbaan to other Thai places. (I've actually eaten Thai food three times, including Langbaan, this past week!) But they were not comparable to me outside of isolated dishes. In addition to aiming to represent all of Thailand's cuisines, Langbaan aims to redefine these dishes to fit into a tasting menu, making it completely different from other Thai restaurants. However, I noticed that even isolated dishes at Langbaan do not match up clearly with other Thai restaurants. In fact, it seems like the Thai restaurants I am used to aim to provide a very narrow and specific view of Thailand! Langbaan feels more Thai in totality, even if the Thai restaurants give me a more directed experience. 

Overall, Langbaan is greatly challenging but completely rewarding -- but you probably have to be a gourmand of some kind and feature true patience.

Sunday, December 29, 2019

2020 Resolutions (tentative)


1.      1. Successfully serve out Fulbright program (objectives subject to change).
a.      Have literature review accepted by journal after reviewer comments.
b.      Labwork
                                                    i.     Cell-based project and other wet-lab work
                                                   ii.     Machine learning project
1.      Study R and Python
                                                  iii.     Publish a manuscript on work
c.      Outreach:
                                                    i.     Develop a learning guide on disability outreach and the lab’s work
                                                   ii.     Work with Muscular dystrophy Canada as a client and as a researcher
1.      Assist with Burden of Illness study
                                                  iii.     Work with Office of Disability Advocacy
1.      Teach Alberta government about disability
2.      Discuss snow removal
                                                  iv.     Accessibility advisory committee
1.      Give recommendations on buildings, roads, sidewalks to committee at general meeting
                                                   v.     Other outreach opportunities with schools, hospitals, general public, and everything else
d.      Engagement      
                                                    i.     Resume extracurricular activities: Toastmasters, Japanese Conversational Club, Feminist Club, perhaps pick up one more?
                                                   ii.     Bring outreach into engagement
                                                  iii.     Post at least 2 posts per month on Fulbright blog
                                                  iv.     Keep developing Fulbright goals!
e.      After Fulbright:
                                                    i.     Network/apply for PhDs, jobs, etc
2.      2.Toastmasters
a.      Serve secretary role at university toastmasters through June
                                                    i.     Assist with developing “alternative” meeting schedules
b.      Mentor two students in performing the Icebreaker speech
c.      Complete two Pathways projects
d.      Perform another interpretative speech
3 3. Languages
a.      Develop conversational and basic proficiency in Urdu and Japanese writing and speaking 
4 4.  Games/Visual Novels
a.      Read Fata Morgana, Higurashi Ch7/8 (If 8 is out), Zero Escape
5 5.  AnimeFeminist
a.      Have written two articles for AnimeFeminist by end of the year.
66. Anime goals:
a.      Finish Cardcaptor Sakura, Yugioh Vrains, and Hunter x Hunter (2011)
b.      Watching <12; Rewatching <6, Paused <6, Dropped <10; Completed > 999

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Day 2 of 12: Hyouka, and I Scream (Again)

By this point, you have also heard my story of Hyouka -- how it got me into anime in general, and how it kept me floating, even during a stormy undercurrent. But you will likely not know that I have rewatched the show *twice* this year.

During my first watch, I recognized that I related to Chitanda's curiosity; in the first watch of this year, I realized that Chitanda features the same shifting attention span that I feature. But I am leaving this topic aside! You see....I am hoping to write about this in a more formal setting. So check back later!

It is strange that I did a second rewatch of the show this year. Here's a good place for a trigger warning: I will briefly touch on the KyoAni fire here. Two very key staff for Hyouka passed away in the fire, and that led me to attach sadness to the series. I did rewatch episode 5 of Hyouka after the fire and felt myself overcome with emotion. That pushed me to wait, and I was not sure I'd get to do a rewatch for a long time. It's *still* hard for me to watch KyoAni works.

So what changed?

Well, Hyouka, for those of you who may recall, focuses on Oreki's perspective changing due to meeting Chitanda. Of course, that means I myself will look at that angle. But my thoughts on Chitanda have grown more curious over time.

The reason for this curiosity is because I made a friend, during my time in Canada so far, that reminds me much of Chitanda.  My friend is very much a smart and curious person herself!  If you're interested, then too bad! I am intentionally being cryptic here. But for all intents and purposes, this drove me to want another rewatch of Hyouka, even in such a short amount of time. It let me overcome my fear of watching KyoAni works -- this fear that has persisted since July.

Beyond that, this gave me a great chance to observe Chitanda from a new perspective. Despite being one of my favorite characters for 7 years, I have not quite understood the dynamics around *how* I get this impression. But having met someone in person like her, I gained a much better handle on the details of body language. Like where one pays attention, how one uses hands, and how one uses their eyes. Given Kyoani's excellence in delicate character animation, these details come vividly to life. In the end, no matter how many times I have seen the show, I found myself completely and utterly spellbound beyond any previous viewing.

Here is my biggest fascination from this experience: meeting people and going to new places can shift your frame so much you find even more beauty in your favorite works. Being able to tie a fictional character to a person also manages to create a sort of mutual humanity; the representation lets you appreciate the person more, which lets you enjoy the representation more. This is a truly powerful feeling for me to keep in mind.

Previously, I have generally been a viewer who does not think "what about myself has changed between viewings". I certainly cannot tie such changes to most of my Hyouka watches. But going to Canada, despite it seeming so similar to US on paper, has helped bring on a great change for myself as a viewer and as a person. Now I can more clearly see this growth play out in context of the anime that I watch. And I can tie it to specific mechanics of anime too!

Truly, I can call Hyouka a favorite anime that has guided my life.

Day 1 of 12 in Anime: Yamada Directs My Life's Story

Everyone reading this post hopefully knows that Yamada adores framing shots through legs, especially through the calves. It is a 'meme' at this point. But, given that she is probably the greatest director ever, that is entirely okay! I hope you realize, though, that this is actually a post about me.

One common thread on this blog is my condition Becker Muscular Dystrophy, which primarily impacts my legs. They can be the greatest contribution to my self-consciousness, especially under pain -- even if that cannot be seen. Back in Fall 2012, when this pain was at its height, I grew to fear my legs and hate the sight of them. Since then, I have psychologically and physically grown re-accustomed to my legs. This is more due to physical therapy and growth as a person.

But perhaps the way Yamada uses legs as a framing device highlights the beauty each person's legs bring as both a physical and emotional support to people. (Of course, this does, unfortunately, exclude people who do not have legs in the conventional sense.) How people stand, by making use of their legs, can often highlight deep facets of well-being. For example, I spread out my legs a lot more when I feel very tired to give more stability. Legs are an essential part of expression, not just as a link in the chain -- and Yamada fully understands that.

This is not limited to Yamada -- look no further than the walk cycles by famed animator Ebata (see Absolute Duo OP for instance) and the depictions of gait in Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso.

By making this a consistent part of her cinematographic language, Yamada brings positivity and beauty to legs, which are often excluded. Usually, the face receives the majority of attention. Most humans are socialized to focus on the face. But the face is not all of body language!

From here, Yamada would be an excellent choice to direct my life's story, by reframing legs from a weakness into a beautiful strength. As my attention is often on my legs, that would make for a reasonable focus in storyboarding. My story starts when my mom noticed my legs stiffening up while playing -- and I can only imagine how well a director like Yamada could bring that to life!